Haiti Relief Dinner

Tonight I went to the Riviera Mexican Grill for dinner to support Haiti Relief efforts. All the sales between 4:30 and 8:30 will be going to Child Hope International which is the non-profit organization that was set up by the Mannaseros, who go to my church. The website is www.childhope.org if you are interested in learning more.

It was really crowded when we came so we had to wait about 45 minutes to sit inside. It was raining a bit so the outside eating area was not open for service, but we sat outside to wait for our tables to be called. There were nine of us, so we had to split into two tables. I was really happy to be able to catch up with my friend, Taylor and also get to know Carolina. Of course Shelley was there and she always lifts the mood whereever she goes! :)

BASIC Bunco Night

Last night after church we had a Bunco night for BASIC. We all had a fun time, even though the leaders (myself and Nicole) are no Bunco experts! Above is a picture of Nicole Detjen and Jenn Gunn. Below is a picture of me with Jesse and Stephanie.

My favorite part was when we played "Hot Potato Bunco" which is where you roll dice on a tray and if you get doubles you can "steal" a prize bag from someone who's already gotten doubles. You do this until time runs out and whoever had a bag when time runs out wins the prize. Everyone seemed to have a lot of fun!

A new day in the sunshine

Like most Californians, I am sure, I woke up this morning to see the sun peaking through the slits of my bedroom window blinds to invite me outside to the beach after a week of rain. I personally love the rain and we sure need it, but I love the way the sun warms my face and how the air is so much clearer when the rain is over.

I went to Manhattan Beach and walked to Hermosa Beach and back. The waves were obviously more violent than they normally are, so no one was getting in the water, but there were plenty of people outside to enjoy the weather.

There are some benefits to being out right after the rain. I'm sure the volleyball players that were out in spades were taking pleasure in the fact that their feet were cool and the sand was soft as opposed to the heat scorching their toes and scratching their feet. Even though a storm can be trying, there are always benefits that one doesn't see until after the storm is over.

Hair Issues

Tuesday I had a hair appointment. I wanted to go a little darker (for the winter) but the toner worked a little too well and my hair went from blonde to brunette. I went over to my friend, Jeff's afterwards and I didn't like my hair so much it put me in a mood. Well, I think it was also the fact that I was at the hairdresser for almost 4 hours only to have it be too dark!

Jeff took a few pictures of me and had some fun (don't worry, my hair was only straight that day):

I tried to get used to it, but I just didn't like it enough to keep it that way,so I went back to the hairdresser today to put the blonde back in!


You can see my new smile in the above picture too! ;) Below, this is a farther away shot. My hair is only straight until I wash it, don't worry! I could never get rid of my curls!

Fear of Rejection/Losing Someone

I realized in the last several years that my greatest fear is fear of rejection or losing someone close to me like a friend or relative (and I mean lose touch with them as well as when they go to the great beyond). God has really brought me face to face with moral dilemmas in which I have had to choose between what is right and what I want to do. I wish they were always in line, but alas that is not the case.

I've had to end friendships because of this pull from God to do the right thing and I've done it, although that has come with a lot of loss and pain. But I still did it. But in other areas I have not chosen what is right (even if I knew it was better for me in the long run) and I've realized that I have such a strong fear of rejection that I try to do anything to avoid further rejection, even if that means that I become the rejector (as in, I reject God or my morals).

These choices ultimately stem from my lack of trust in God and His sovereignty in my life. I came upon a scripture this morning: Psalm 32:10: "Many are the sorrows of the wicked; But he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him." When I turn away from God, I am wicked but when I listen to Him and trust Him I will not have so many sorrows and I will feel His lovingkindness all around me. This will comfort me when I feel rejected. This will comfort me in change. I wish I understood why I am not consistent in my convictions. God is working on that in me.

I have heard clearly that I should look towards the future and not look at the past. A lot of great things will come in the near future and I await them calmly (for I should not be anxious in anything). Also, I know that I shouldn't make any plans until things are finalized.

Feeling Better

Whelp, yesterday was the day from hell. Well, okay it wasn't that bad, but it was close. My doctor had given me a prescription for vicodin. I was in a lot of pain so I decided to take it, even though I generally do not like to take any medication, especially ones that make me really loopy, which had been my experience in the past.

I took the pill at 9pm, but I didn't feel it's effects for two hours. That's when I was dizzy so I went straight to bed. I slept for about 5 hours before I woke up nauseous and went to the bathroom where I sweated profusely-I've never sweated so much in my life. My body did everything it could to get rid of the toxins without my throwing up (which I was glad of...those of you who know me well know that although there isn't anyone that likes the experience I REALLY don't like it so much that I had an 18 year streak of avoiding it). Anyway I went back to bed and slept another 4 hours or so.

I ended up texting my friend, Shelley, my experience and asking her if it was the same. She said it does make you nauseous. I told her "at least I didn't throw up." Famous last words! Only a few minutes after I sent that text, that's exactly what I did-drat!

But I did feel a little better, but it zapped me out where I didn't have any energy to do much of anything. Of course, that was partly due to the fact that I hadn't eaten anything. I called my sister and while I was talking to her (so I would be distracted) I forced down a half a bowl of oatmeal so I could take ibuprofen. I took 600 mg and it wasn't helping the pain. I realized two things: 1) I thought I had an infection in my teeth because I've had them before and I recognized the signs and 2) Aleve works much better for me with the pain. So, I called my doctor's office to get a prescription for antibiotics and then I took some Aleve, which did help a bit.

The doctor called in a prescription for a Z-pack (5 days of antibiotics) but I had a dilemma because I was too weak to drive. I called friends that were closeby but they were either sick too or were still at work or just didn't respond. Finally, Shelley got off work and offered to pick up the prescription--Hallelujah! The pain was so bad I couldn't even eat yogurt. I was able to walk from my bed to the couch, which was good.

I took the pills right away when Shelley arrived and by the time I went to bed the pain was much more manageable! I was still awfully fatigued but I got a good night's rest and I am on the mend! Yay!

I think the antibiotics did the trick and I will be glad when this infection is over with so I can stop taking all meds. It's really not my style! But this morning I had enough energy to shower and I am even eating a little oatmeal. Yes!!!

I am still a little bit weak, so I had to forgo the trip to San Diego I was planning on doing this weekend, which bums me out. But I'd rather not be a lame party pooper if I take a turn for the worst. Thanks to all the friends that have prayed for me! You are a blessing to me!

Lexylou Who is Baaaaack!

I took the plunge and got the remaining gum surgery done. I had to get the bottom teeth grafted which wasn't as involved as my last surgery, although they did have to take the gum from the roof of my mouth like the last time.

I am not allowed to talk for a few days, which is very difficult, but my face is going to puff up even more than it is, so I'm sure people will just run away screaming from me, so there won't be much need for talking! ;)

I was really puffy on the last gum surgery. I also had a black eye, so we'll see what I have this time. I really do look like I belong in the Jim Carey version of The Grinch Stole Christmas! But hopefully that's in a Whovalicious kind of way!

Tomorrow I have to figure out who can take me to get my car from the doctor's office. I got a ride back from the doctor who did my surgery, which was really nice.

I'm going to rest now. :)

Cleaning out the cabinets

During the holidays, I had a friend over who asked for something and I directed them to my pantry cabinets, only to realize that I hadn't had the time to organize them. Yikes! I was very embarrassed.

I had lent my step stool to Shelley when she moved and I finally picked it up along with my tool box so I was able to finally organize my cabinets (they are both eye level and I have a higher up cabinet).

Over the years I had collected a lot of Crystal Light boxes of various flavors, which I used to consume daily (I probably used 4 packets/day). Slowly but surely I realized that all of that artificial sugar was not good for me so I stopped using the flavor packets. Well, that left me with several boxes I had kept at work (that I had stuffed in my cabinet) and then about another 8 boxes originally in the cabinet. As I started to open the boxes and dump out the packets into the trash and then recycle the boxes, I was flabbergasted at the waste I had created. It was probably $50 worth that I threw away (because they were all expired anyway!).

Originally I was thinking that was all I was going to do, but since I was there I decided to look at everything and throw away everything with an expired date. I ended up throwing away several boxes of quinoa and rice flakes, 3 containers of oatmeal (I used to eat oatmeal every morning and I had both regular and irish style oats), Easy Mac (a fully box that wasn't even opened), oat bran flour (just in case...I can't remember how long it's been since I purchased it) and also some balsamic vinegars, apple cider vinegars, etc. I almost completely filled my kitchen trash can.

Now I can fit all that is left onto one cabinet shelf if I wanted to. I feel so much better after clearing out the items that are expired and that I apparently do not eat anymore! Now I'm going to tackle some paperwork I have to look through (it's almost tax time, you know!).

This morning I realized that I am, generally speaking, an organized person. I don't feel right in the morning unless my bed is made. But I also can let a few dishes go here and there, so I guess it's a healthy balance? I do feel it's important to look at what you have on a regular basis and realistically ask yourself if you use those items! If not, get rid of them (either through donation or throwing them away). And now I'm off my step-stool/soap box. :)

Computer Problems Solved

A few nights ago my Dell laptop stopped turning on. I had problems with it before where I would unplug it and it would just shut off but then it wouldn't turn on at all. I decided to bite the bullet and take it to the Geek Squad to see how much the damage would be.


I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was only the power cord and not the actual laptop. If it had been the laptop it would be have $500 to fix it. I decided to get a universal power cord at Best Buy because I really don't want to search around the net for the best deal to find out it isn't the right one and I also realized that since I have another laptop, I could use this universal cord when that laptop's cord goes out in the future, so it made sense to spend the money on it.


I am really glad I was able to get it fixed relatively cheaply because my Dell is the computer that I primarily use. I need it for many functions that can't be done on the mini-notebook, most notably downloading the Turbo Tax software so I can get a move-on my taxes as well as my dad's.


After Best Buy I went shopping at Whole Foods since it's a few shops over. I don't generally shop there because I can get the same items I buy at Trader Joe's for less money, but I decided to check out the variety at WF's. I ended up getting a few things at a better price than at the grocery store like Virgil's Black Cherry Cream Soda, which is great as a dessert poured over vanilla ice cream. The best way to serve it is in a wine glass and it is just the right serving, although you'll have soda enough for 2-3 servings. It is the best "float" you'll taste! Besides that I mainly got fruit to snack on during the day.

Full Weekend

This weekend was pretty busy and very fun!

Friday night I met up with Leslie, Cori, Heather and Alice for dinner at RA (a sushi place) and then a movie. After dinner we had a little time before the movie so we went into Anthropologie because Heather had never been in one. Alice and I were getting silly, trying on various aprons and posing for goofy pictures.

I like Alice's pictures much better (she used props of a nice ceramic bowl and a wooden spoon) but I don't have any which is too bad. :)

We went to see the movie "Leap Year" which I wasn't too keen on seeing but it was a girl's night so of course we were going to go to a chick flick. The main character makes the right decision in not marrying her boyfriend of 4 years (because he only asks her to marry him in order to get an apartment) but then she ends up with the very rude Irishman that doesn't change into a nicer character as the movie progresses. She justifies his rude behavior by saying "you're just broken/wounded" but really how he treats her is not the way I want to be treated. She gives up her life in Boston for this man that is incapable of really showing how he feels and gives her a hard time about everything and she just goes along with that. It's not the "happy" ending I want, that is for sure.

I spent Saturday with my friend, Melissa, who had a long layover at L.A.X. I picked her up from the airport and we went to the Salk Creek Grille for lunch. They have the best sliders, not that I have had many, but they are mighty tasty! I just had that and a cup of soup because I wasn't super hungry. We then went to Best Buy which is close by so that I could get Turbo Tax and then we were off to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, which has much better coffee than Starbucks in my humble opinion. We took our coffee and headed back to my apartment to chat.

After I dropped Melissa off at L.A.X. so she could go through security and all that, I drove to Shelley's to hang out for a few hours. She was watching a latin america movie marathon that was on a certain channel so we were laughing about certain parts, and admiring certain dresses the women were wearing (these movies were made in the 40s and 50s).

Because I missed Saturday night service, I went to the 11 o'clock service on Sunday. I ran into Scotti (my sister, Erika's mother-in-law) so we sat together. Again the sermon was just what I needed--"Remembering is the first step to obedience." Chris Cannon talked about how we need faith to live out our daily lives and we first do that by 1) Leaving our old life behind, 2) Believing that God will do what he promises and 3) Being obedient to God. All three are toughies for me.

After church I met up with Alice to go for a walk. We walked from her place in So. Redondo to Hermosa Beach where we met up with her friend, Ravi, for lunch. We went to Scotty's on the Strand. We then walked Ravi to his car to discover that there was a fire nearby and the fire department had parked their ambulance right behind Ravi's car so he couldn't get out. After getting assurances from the parking lady, we decided to walk to Alice's apartment so that she could drive Ravi to his friends house and his friend would drive him back to his car later. Before heading over, however, Alice and Ravi wanted some pictures on Hermosa Pier.
After dropping Ravi off, Alice and I hung out for a little bit longer before I headed home. I am borrowing several books from Alice. I started one of the "Spa Girls" series which is called "Calm, Cool and Adjusted" which is pretty good so far. This is the fun, fluffy stuff I like to read on occassion. There are three books in the series. I also got two other more "serious" books to read as well. I generally like to alternate. Right now I am reading "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul" which is really good, but it's not the type of book you read straight through. I've been reading scripture in the morning and then reading several pages of the Captivating book. It is really meaty and most of the themes you've got to take time to think and pray about in order to absorb them.

Farmer's Market and More

This morning Dyanelle asked if I wanted to go with her to the Farmer's Market by 3rd Street Promenade. I was delighted to go and experience this Farmer's Market, especially since Shelley is obsessed with them, so I wanted to see what all the fuss is about. We had a great time. I bought grapes, but Dyanelle went all out and purchased tons of different vegetables, including these really unique looking Italian califlower.

Afterwards, Dyanelle suggested we drive to Malibu and have lunch at Paradise Cove Cafe, which has an excellent view of the ocean!



Our view from our table:

That night I went to Il Fornaio with a group of women to celebrate my friend, Colleen's, birthday. We all had a great time!

Unemployment and CPA Review

Today I was FINALLY able to apply for unemployment successfully! I had tried to apply online but I received a message that I was a "special" case and I had to call them directly. Initially I thought this would be no big deal until I found out that they do not queue up calls unless you are one of the lucky ones that happen to call just as another call has ended and then you are put in a queue.

So, I found myself calling the EDD about 20 times this morning to get just the right timing. I was able to process my claim and found out that I will get the maximum benefits which will help me avoid using my savings (I would like to own a home one day, you know!). I don't know how I was a special case for them since it seemed pretty cut and dried, but whatever-it's done!

As I have been looking for work, it became clear that I need to get my CPA certification to remain competitive for jobs. I signed up for the Becker CPA Review and was thankful that they keep their records (I took the exam 10 years ago and was one question from passing 2 parts-yes it is a curse that I will overcome this time!!!). Because I had done everything they required for a free retake back then, but didn't utilize it (due to burn out), now that the test format has changed I was able to get 50% off the course (that's a $1,500 savings). I still had to pay a very exorbitant price for their flashcards and what they call the "Final Review" which is a series of cram sessions, but it will be worth it to pass each section the first time.

My first class is Audit and it starts February 8th. My classes will be in Long Beach, right across the street from my old office, so I am familiar with the area. They will be held from 6-10pm which is good in that if I find a job I can continue with the classes. The only bad thing is focusing on the subject so late at night. I've done it before, but I was working then so now I'll have more time to devote to studying. I will consider it (and looking for a job) my job for now.

The unfortunate part of the class is that it is on Mondays and Wednesdays, which means I can no longer attend my Wednesday bible study. These classes will end at the end of June, so that is quite a long time without a bible study. I may have to find new bible study on a different date. We'll see where God leads me. They did have a Tuesday/Thursday class located in L.A. but it was near the USC campus which is a really bad area, so I said "No way!"

I am excited to be doing something that will further my career and make it easier to find a job in the future!

Who Pursues Who?

God has been taking me on a journey these last couple of weeks. I first noticed it on Christmas Day when I had a strong desire to read the Christmas Story and do something that honored Him on the day that we should reflect on Christ's birth. I hadn't gone to Christmas Eve service and there were none on Christmas Day, so John and I read the Christmas Story from Luke.

I pursued God through his Word, but felt empty after the reading. Was it because we did not pray beforehand for God to move us, to move me, and to be in relationship with us as we read His Word? I'm not sure, probably.

As mentioned, I felt a clear desire to read the Bible on New Year's Day, to somehow show God that I wanted Him in my life. I'm trying but I always fail to maintain that relationship. I went to King's Harbor's service and although there were many themes to the sermon the thing that stood out to me was Pastor Chris's explanation of Genesis:

• God creates everything
• God creates man
• God is in relationship with man
• Man rebels against God
• Man hides from God
• God pursues man
• God covers man (Jesus being the eternal covering)

The last four points in the story spoke to me. I have been in rebellion and have pulled away from my relationship with God. I think it's because I have not felt God's pursuit of me. Maybe a dull echo of what I once felt has been in my heart. Feeling rejected by God by my inability to feel His presence has caused me to rebel and seek out things that I thought would fulfil my desire for pursuit. I see it as a failure on my part and I am now hiding from God.

God does pursue man. He pursued me last night in allowing me to understand the sermon that was spoken and personalize it because it was said for me. After service, my friend, Nicole and I went to Starbucks to talk instead of go to the usual dinner place. Our entire conversation was about God's pursuit of us. We talked about the book Captivating, which describes this desire God has to be in relationship with us. Matthew 23:37 says "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem...how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing."

The other thing that I discovered is that God wants us to pursue Him. Jeremiah 24:7 states, "I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people , and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. " I was telling Nicole that I want to feel that tenderness and when I read Captivating it said "Our God is a tenderhearted God who yearns for relationship with us." He is saying "Look for me, puruse me-I want you to pursue me."

This is my desire...but I don't want to do it in a meaningless, do-it-for-two-weeks, New Year's resolution kind of way! I want to desire to be near God because I feel His presence and His love and His tenderness so much that I read His Word and pray to Him about all that is me and all that I feel. I want it to be real. Lord, make it real to me.

First Day of the Year 2010

I woke up unexpectedly early this morning. I decided to make an early start to getting healthier this year by going to the gym. In the last few months I have walked along Hermosa and Manhattan Beaches as my exercise, but lately that has become boring since I usually walk alone. I went to the gym and worked 45 minutes on the elyptical and then I did some ab and arm work, as well as some side lunges with 8lb. weights in each hand. Usually I feel those lunges the next day!

I got an invitation from Nicole to go to Long Beach and take a trip on her parent's yacht. I thought it wasn't a bad way to start the new year, so I met her at her place with a few others and we drove to Nicole's parents house. It didn't take us long to be on our way, traveling on the top deck the entire way to Palos Verdes, where Nicole and her dad, Ron, pointed out the house that Nicole had grown up on. What a view they had!

Here's Ron piloting the yacht:
Here's Bryan enjoying the view:
From left to right: Nicole, Heather and me (Leslie is camera shy).

On the way there we got to see the beautiful dolphin play along the wakes and spotted seals liesurely rolling around in the water. It was amazing to witness the joy of nature up close.

When we got back, Nancy (Nicole's mom) had a meal ready for us. She cooked collard greens, black-eyed peas and rice, all items culturally symbolizing luck in the new year. The black-eyed peas were delightful!

After our meal, we all ventured over to the tennis courts where Bryan and Clag (Nicole's Uncle) played a few rounds of tennis. Turns out Clag used to be a tennis coach, and has coached some top athletes in his day. Of course, this skill did not prevent him from hitting a ball over the fencing which clocked me in the head! No damage done, except my bruised ego. Apparently my reflexes could use a tune up.

The gang, Nicole, Leslie, Bryan, Heather and I decided to go see Avatar at Long Beach Towne Center. Okay, everyone else decided and I was dragged along. I wasn't too interested in seeing the movie because the movie trailers did not really show what it was about and frankly I wasn't in the mood. But I rallied and even spent over an hour in line waiting for the movie to start, which I generally think is a crazy thing, but we got excellent seats.

The movie was excellent. The dialog was great, the plot was solid and the imagery was out of this world, literally! It's no wonder this was the most expensive movie ever made! I'm glad I was dragged to it. :)

Nicole dropped me off at my car and I drove home. I decided the last thing I wanted to do before midnight was to read the Word of God. This new year (and going forward) I want to include God in my daily life more than I have been. This is the scripture that stood out to me tonight:

Psalm 143:10-12

Teach me to do Thy will,

For Thou art my God.

Let Thy good Spirit lead

me to level ground.

For the sake of Thy name,

O Lord, revive me.

In Thy righteousness

bring my soul out of trouble.

And in Thy lovingkindness

cut off my enemies.

And destroy all those who

afflict my soul;

For I am Thy servant.