Personal Bill of Rights

I had forgotten about a list I was given called "Personal Bill of Rights." They are:

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
13. I have the right to feel scared and say "I'm afraid."
14. I have the right to say "I don't know."
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to be in a nonabusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy.


When I got this listed I decided to circle the rights that I had a hard time accepting, mainly because it hasn't been my experience with others that is is my right.


An example of this would be number 3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative. I have tried to live by this, but I have found that when I have expressed my negative feelings, the other person doesn't want to hear it or is offended that I feel this way about them. Instead of listening and trying to understand why I would feel that way, they look to blame me for having these feelings. I don't just create these negative feelings for the heck of it, so why is it my fault? Trust me when I say I'd rather have positive feelings!


Number 5 is another one that is difficult for me to accept. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect. I know that I do make mistakes and that I am not perfect, but I believe it's difficult for others to be grace givers, therefore making mistakes are not acceptable. I have also been told I am an unforgiveable person, which means there is no hope for me in relation to that person. I do make mistakes and I try to recognize them and apologize if those mistakes have wronged someone. But I still try to be perfect because I don't want to hurt anyone.


Number 6 is a really doozy and it goes along with number 7 as well. Number 6 is "I have the right to follow my own values and standards." I was raised to have very strong opinions, but due to that and the fact that I have a lot of siblings, I was also raised that it is acceptable to give your opinion to others on how they should live their lives. Problem is we all live different lives. I have the right to follow my values and standards for my life, but I do get comments from others on how I should lead it. I gladly listen, but it leads to number 7 which is "I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values. " Sometimes, what others think is right for me, maybe something I get to down the road. I may not be at that step in my life. Just because I say no, doesn't mean I don't respect the other person's opinion, I am just not going to blindly follow what they think is right when they don't live in my skin. They don't live my daily life.


Numbers 23 and 24 are also biggees for me. "I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others" and "I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect." I think we have all felt that this has not been true for us at times. I have tended to see other needs above my own, which can be quite unhealthy and I am working towards sticking to my guns about my needs and wants, no matter the consequences (see number 9).


What rights do you have a hard time believing due to your past experiences?