Who Pursues Who?

God has been taking me on a journey these last couple of weeks. I first noticed it on Christmas Day when I had a strong desire to read the Christmas Story and do something that honored Him on the day that we should reflect on Christ's birth. I hadn't gone to Christmas Eve service and there were none on Christmas Day, so John and I read the Christmas Story from Luke.

I pursued God through his Word, but felt empty after the reading. Was it because we did not pray beforehand for God to move us, to move me, and to be in relationship with us as we read His Word? I'm not sure, probably.

As mentioned, I felt a clear desire to read the Bible on New Year's Day, to somehow show God that I wanted Him in my life. I'm trying but I always fail to maintain that relationship. I went to King's Harbor's service and although there were many themes to the sermon the thing that stood out to me was Pastor Chris's explanation of Genesis:

• God creates everything
• God creates man
• God is in relationship with man
• Man rebels against God
• Man hides from God
• God pursues man
• God covers man (Jesus being the eternal covering)

The last four points in the story spoke to me. I have been in rebellion and have pulled away from my relationship with God. I think it's because I have not felt God's pursuit of me. Maybe a dull echo of what I once felt has been in my heart. Feeling rejected by God by my inability to feel His presence has caused me to rebel and seek out things that I thought would fulfil my desire for pursuit. I see it as a failure on my part and I am now hiding from God.

God does pursue man. He pursued me last night in allowing me to understand the sermon that was spoken and personalize it because it was said for me. After service, my friend, Nicole and I went to Starbucks to talk instead of go to the usual dinner place. Our entire conversation was about God's pursuit of us. We talked about the book Captivating, which describes this desire God has to be in relationship with us. Matthew 23:37 says "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem...how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing."

The other thing that I discovered is that God wants us to pursue Him. Jeremiah 24:7 states, "I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people , and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. " I was telling Nicole that I want to feel that tenderness and when I read Captivating it said "Our God is a tenderhearted God who yearns for relationship with us." He is saying "Look for me, puruse me-I want you to pursue me."

This is my desire...but I don't want to do it in a meaningless, do-it-for-two-weeks, New Year's resolution kind of way! I want to desire to be near God because I feel His presence and His love and His tenderness so much that I read His Word and pray to Him about all that is me and all that I feel. I want it to be real. Lord, make it real to me.